Every Men Tell All Outfit, Ranked

  Jake (the guy who Becca turned down TWICE, once in Minnesota and once on Night 1 of The Bachelorette) wore a casual black suit and white collared shirt with the first two buttons undone. He thought he’d go for …

Episode 5: Reclaiming My Time

No one is lucky this week in Vegas. Not a single one. Becca’s stylist MUST be fired. At the top of the episode we see Becca in a grey top reminiscent of a waffle knit J Crew factory find. The …

Episode 4: Love Makes The World Go Flat

My apologies for not recapping Week 3’s idiotic episode.  I was consumed with the nuptials of two dear friends, and decided it would be best to devote my time, energy and attention to the wholesome love of two stand-up human …

Episode 2: I’m Not Gonna Lie…

I fucking hated this episode. The more time I spend wrapped in the iron embrace of this fraught franchise, the more I realize that this game is the most formulaic shitshow of all time. This episode was exactly the same …

Episode 1: My Time, My Turn, My Decisions, My Choice

The premiere begins with a particularly cold open of weepy Becca gazing at Polaroids of her and Arie from days gone by. The network is jerking themselves off with this gratuitous footage of last season’s Bachelor finale when Arie dumped …

What’s In Store for Becca…

Rather than dissect the 5 hours of Arie’s uncut/unedited Finale and After The Final Rose, I have some thoughts on what we (and Becca) are in store for this upcoming season of The Bachelorette… As you might/definitely remember, Chris Harrison …

Episode 9: The Test Drive

Peru: The Perfect Place To Fuck For The First Time X 3 KENDALL Unexpected Final Three contestant, Kendall, knows she’s not ready for an engagement, but she and Arie are still having a blast together. After their dune buggy ride …

Arie’s Women Tell All

Top 10 Most Memorable Moments of The Women Tell All 1. Seeing previously unaired footage of Chelsea saying THIS to the producers in a private interview: “When Bekah was learning to finger paint, Arie was learning about fucking people in college.” …

Episode 8: The Famn Damilies

Kendall’s Hometown Date Los Angeles, CA The second Arie touches down in LA, Kendall whisks him away to a taxidermy storage unit/show room designed for the modern day Teddy Roosevelt.   Arie takes the words out of my mouth and calls …